As many who follow the Lord know, patience is one of those things He likes to teach us through long periods of waiting. One year of waiting doesn’t sound like a lot on paper, but when you are the one with your heart hanging in the balance, it seems like all clocks have stopped.
One year ago, on precisely June 30th, I sent an email to a certain overseas realtor and told him I was interested in a house listing. Since I was already borderline obsessed with the idea of having a haus to go “home” to, just waiting for his email response was torture. Thank goodness, Herr Moeser didn’t put me through that pain and answered me right away.
‘Dear Good Mrs. Kincaid,
Yes, the house is still available. Let’s talk next week.’ (loosely translated)
Next week? NEXT WEEK!!!! I thought I would die over the weekend. I thought my heart would truly explode. Thank goodness I had my German friends in the same house with me so I could eat copious amounts of bratwurst and saukraut with no shame to ease my anxiety.
It didn’t. But I didn’t die either.
I called him the next week and set up all the necessary appointments to see the house (through Jac’s eyes and her diligent Facebook videos & pics) and to make the big decision. Mid-July, after our friend Berdnt, called from the haus and said, “If you don’t buy this haus, I will”, I said the magic words, “We’ll take it.”
You know the rest.
But the waiting. Oh, the waiting. It has been the bane of my existence. I have tried every tactic to learn how to be more patient; to learn how not to obsess over the thing I long to see more that anything. I don’t know if I have learned more patience, or if patience has been thrust upon me, but I did make it the entire year. No heart explosions or dramatic deaths caused by the incessant ticking clocks that remind me of how slow time goes when we want, need or are begging God for something.
What I have learned is this: I am not God. I am not in charge of this. So, I can loosen my grip and trust His process.
I have learned to trust His timing. Tucked away in that space of trust, I have come to a place of peace and yes, patience. My heart still pounds with anticipation at the idea of seeing our place for the first time. I lie in bed most nights Pinterest-dreaming of fabulous ideas for the renovation.
But, it didn’t make it go any faster. And, neither did God. He has a plan and His watch runs differently than mine (backward I think, or maybe more like a Salvador Dali clock, melting as it ticks away…) No matter- I choose to trust. I choose to believe that He is moving mountains (Swiss perhaps?) I believe that He is building bridges and parting seas and all those promises He gave us in His Word. So, that is where I have camped out for the last 367 days.
That is where I will camp out for 12 more until the big reveal. We leave in 7. One week. The same amount of time it took Him to create all of the Universe. I am pretty sure He is doing amazing things even in these last seven days now. A quick Parisian stop to grab some baguettes and cheeses and we will head over to the mountains of former East Germany.
After we fly into Amsterdam, and a quick 3-day Parisian stop to grab some baguettes and cheeses and we will head over, via train, to the mountains of former East Germany.
Then the waiting will come to an end. And, a new season will begin.
I wonder what He will teach me then? Pretty sure patience is still on the list.